Infinite Number of Monkeys Escape Iowa Writers' Workshop Compound


Infinite Number of Monkeys

Iowa City, IA — In an unprecedented event that has left the literary world reeling, an infinite number of monkeys have broken out of the highly regarded Iowa Writers’ Workshop compound. The group, which had been sequestered at the prestigious creative writing program for an undisclosed amount of time, reportedly fled into nearby cornfields late last night under the cover of heavy November fog.

Workshop insiders, who spoke on condition of anonymity, claim that the simians had been enlisted as part of a bold, experimental writing initiative. "The idea was simple," she said. "We wanted to test the idea that if you teamed an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters, would they eventually produce a Shakespearean play or the next great American novel? It was an experiment on the nature of artistic ownership."

The breakout occurred after what one witness described as a "tsunami of typewriter ribbons and the scent of overcooked banana bread," shortly before the compound's security systems were disabled. Local law enforcement and private security were quickly dispatched to the area, but the troop's whereabouts remain unknown.

Authorities have confirmed that no one was injured during the nocturnal escape, although several priceless first editions of works by early workshop alumni were reported missing. There are also charges that some of the monkeys had made off with poetry manuscripts still in development.

"We're doing everything we can to contain the situation," said Officer Skeet "Double" Decker of the University of Iowa campus police. "We don't know exactly which direction all those monkeys went... probably every direction! But we're conducting searches in all the usual places—cornfields, barns, shuttered book stores, liquid paper warehouses."

Public reaction to the breakout has been split. On one hand, animal rights activists have praised the escape as a selfless act of civil disobedience. While writers and scholars who have been following the trial program closely are now eager to see if the monkeys’ work might contain any avant garde literary brilliance.

For now, the world waits, watching as local authorities and an expert team of ethologists and librarians continue their search. Some speculate the monkeys may be in the process of crafting a manifesto. Others theorize they’re searching for an infinite supply of unicycles.

As for the Iowa Writers' Workshop, program directors have yet to comment officially, but it is rumored that an improvisational poetry field study is already in the works involving parrots.