Madison, WI — Carolyne Lactose, spokesmodel for the North American Dairy Council, says the group plans to make public the results of its investigation into allegations against its president.
Hershey, PA — For some residents, living in the factory's shadow leaves a bitter taste in their mouths.
Washington, DC — The debut of U.S. immigration's standard issue apparel, said to "harken back to simpler times," is being met with mixed reviews.
Baggypants Ranch, NC — The entire 2025 graduating class of a remote school for professional clowns was lost after being abandoned inside a clown car parked outside during record heat. The victims ranged in age from 23 to 67.
Mar-A-Lago, FL — At a weekend golf tournament afterparty celebrating the destruction of Iranian nuclear capabilities, President Trump took the opportunity to announce his "Buy Bonds" initiative reminiscent of similar campaigns at the start of World War II.
Hoboken, NJ — A new tell-all written by Sinatra's longtime pen pal and sometime "cabin mate" Candy Gwendelabra reveals the crooner's conflicted feelings about the success of Strangers In The Night.
Washington, DC — Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene is turning heads and raising eyebrows with her latest fashion statement. The two-term Republican now boasts one of the thickest, darkest beards in Congress.
Columbus, OH — Eighteen-year-old Austin Houston has filed a lawsuit against the major fossil fuel corporations, claiming a decade of "emotional and manual labor damages" for sorting various plastics that were falsely labeled as recyclables.
Washington, DC — Uncertainty will have wide-ranging consequences depending on geographic location and economic sector. You can determine how Trump's trade war with China affects you by using this algorithmic formula.
Moscow, RU — The realization is still sinking in that the blackened car was not mobbed by celebrating Muscovites who then dragged Putin's charred and lifeless corpse into the street where it was showered with spit and urine.
Washington DC — The Kennedy Center has unveiled its timetable for an extensive overhaul. The makeover will include updating the name to "Trump Colosseum".
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Ask AI: "Can you show me some of those cool flying cars from the 1950s that my grandpa is always talking about?"
Ask AI: "My doctor insists on giving me prostate exams every six months. Should I look for a different dentist?"
Ask AI: "If the universe is only 14 billion years old, how can it be 92 billion light years wide?"
Ask AI: "What If All U.S. Presidents Were Robots?"
Ask AI: "I just had a colonoscopy and now I have a lot of leftover Crystal Light. I guess I bought too much! What can I do with it?"
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