Washington, DC — President Joe Biden has secured a spot among the top five American Presidents on the prestigious index published annually by The National Institute for Alphabetization. For the fourth year in a row, President Biden surpassed previous POTUSes, marking a significant shift in the rankings of our Commanders-in-Chief.
San Francisco, CA — The remarkable flavor of vegetables grown in California’s Crapstench Valley has captured the hearts—and palates—of organic food lovers and health-conscious consumers alike.
Washington, DC — President-elect Donald Trump announced today that former legendary professional wrestler Hulk Hogan has been tapped for the "Secretary of Man Boobs" position in a move that experts are already calling “embarrassingly fitting.”
Iowa City, IA — In an unprecedented event that has left the literary world reeling, an infinite number of monkeys have broken out of the highly regarded Iowa Writers’ Workshop compound.
In a land far away, where the sun always beamed,
Lived Camela Camel who always had dreamed
Of helping all animals, both big and both small,
She wanted to be the best leader of all!
Dallas, TX — The Dallas County School District announced this week the immediate ban of zucchinis and bananas from all school lunches.
Hollywood, CA – In a last-minute addition to its Fall programming schedule, NBC announced that it will rush production of a new sitcom spin-off.
Philadelphia, PA — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. declared himself the winner of last night's debate between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris, citing “strategic non-participation” as his winning strategy.
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