Washington, DC — A weekend-long podcast organized by Project 2025 is set to go live later this month, promising a treasure trove of memorabilia and antiques from authoritarian governments past and present with all proceeds going directly to Republican Super PACs.
The auction, hosted by www.wereallyarentnazis.nazi, features an eclectic assortment of items, including vintage propaganda posters, a collection of wooden busts of dictators that may or may not have been carved by political prisoners, and a rare lock of Saddam Hussein's hair. Each winning bid will receive an autographed photo of Chancellor Elon Musk, who appears to be waving innocently to a crowd of well-wishers.
“The 2025 Project Auction represents a unique opportunity to embrace history while funding our party’s future,” said RNC Chair Lara Trump. “Why not turn the relics of oppression into a means of normalizing our principles?” Among the auction’s crown jewels is a Stalin-era Soviet military uniform, complete with medals for bravery and the best mustache.
The auction will feature a discount for any Republican currently holding an elected office. “We’re really leaning into the whole authoritarian aesthetic,” said Mrs. Trump. “Nothing says ‘I’m tough on crime’ like a life-sized bust of Mussolini on your mantelpiece!” She went on to express the hope that "This will generate much-needed money for our family... I mean, of course, for the GOP!"
As the auction date nears, social media is ablaze with commentary. Supporters of the GOP are excited about the prospect of owning a slice of history, while others are posting memes featuring slogans like “MAGA = Make Authoritarianism Great Again!”
So mark your calendars for Project 2025's "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" on the last weekend of recently-deauthorized Black History Month. Even if you're not serving in Congress, you can still argue budget cuts while sipping bourbon from a tumbler emblazoned with the smiling image of Pol Pot.