Baggypants Ranch, NC — The entire 2025 graduating class of a remote school for professional clowns was lost after being abandoned inside a clown car parked outside during record heat. The victims ranged in age from 23 to 67.
It is still unclear when or how the twenty-six unfortunate Baggypants Ranch students became trapped while rehearsing for their class photo, but authorities suspect no foul play. A coroner's report stated they could have been confined inside the one-third-scale replica of a Volkswagen minibus for as long as four days with no food and only a single bottle of seltzer water.
The grim discovery was made by a maintenance worker early Wednesday morning after he noticed a funny smell coming from the area of the novelty vehicle.