New York City, NY — After an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council, U.N. Secretary-General Günter Ünterpants today announced passage of a resolution declaring every day International Groundhog Day for the next four years.
The draft resolution, specifically referencing the popular 1993 déjà vu movie starring Bill Murray, states in part, "The short time since United States President Donald Trump took office has made it abundantly clear that the nations of the world are condemned to endure an incessant display of ignorance and incompetence, over and over, day after day, from him and members of his administration."
The vote passed 13-0 after China, in an uncharacteristic move, abstained and the Russian Ambassador, as usual, seemed too inebriated to exercise that country's veto power. The resolution now moves to the full U.N. membership where it is expected to pass easily.
In a related story, The University of Chicago's Doomsday Clock continues to inch closer to "global catastrophe." Thus, any U.N. resolution assuming the world will survive the next four years might seem optimistic at best.