Washington, DC — Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene is turning heads and raising eyebrows with her latest fashion statement. The two-term Republican now boasts one of the thickest, darkest beards in Congress.
Representative Greene recounted how she thought wearing glasses would raise her IQ, or at least make her appear more intelligent. But it didn't manage to rescue her from being a bipartisan laughing stock.
"Then it dawned on me," Greene explained. "President Trump's sons Eric and Don Junior, Senator Ted Cruz, Vice-President J.D. Vance... until they grew their beards, people thought they were just a bunch of clowns. But now, just like them, I'm a force to be rectum with."
Greene added, "Not only do I look and talk more smart now, but I can finally stop shaving two to three times a day, which gives me more time to own the Libs!"
Fellow Republican Cruz could not be reached for comment in Cancun, Mexico.