McDowell County, WV — A man in a remote part of Appalachia says the "things" growing from his feet are so gruesome that it frequently causes Fundamentalist Christians to question their faith, or so reports The New England Journal Of Sawbones.
The Journal doesn't reveal this unfortunate man's name, who has lived in the unincorporated Cumberland area his whole life, but says this genetic mutation apparently manifested itself only in male members of the family. As far back as he can remember, his entire clan was shunned by locals, forcing them to shelter in the same coal mines where they worked. This lone soul, essentially a hermit, is the last survivor.
No photographs were released, but his toenails are described as resembling thick horns that branch out like a pitchfork. Occasionally, the malformations will seem to take on the appearance of gargoyles or rearranged body parts.
He's unable to wear shoes, so must make due with tree bark or sections of steel-belted radial tires secured by duck tape. And his feet become so heavy, his approaching steps literally make the earth tremble.
Clipping these protuberances is no small feat, requiring a volunteer to wield a set of large bolt cutters. But volunteers are hard to come by in this secluded mountainous region.
According to the Journal article, he's even unwelcome at frequent tent revival congregations because: "He scares the little children and makes the women folk cry." And, it seems, has caused a few of the faithful to question the existence of a Supreme Architect. But to others, it merely reinforces their belief in a Satanic Overlord.