Washington, DC — U.S. President Donald Trump took to social media this morning to express his displeasure with how the Nobel Committee chose this year's recipient of its Peace Prize, claiming the results were skewed by "millions of illegal mail-in ballots."
In an angry, all-caps response posted just minutes after the prize was announced, Trump went on to write:
THIS IS ANARCHY. NORWAY IS A WOKE HELL HOLE. IT'S BURNING TO THE GROUND. IT'S A WAR ZONE. THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY GLASS LEFT IN THE SHOP WINDOWS. WINDMILLS ARE KILLING ALL THE BIRDS. AND LOOK AT WHAT'S ON THE BACK OF THAT PEACE COIN! THREE NAKED TRANSGENDER ATHLETES DANCING SOME KIND OF RING AROUND THE ROSIE. WE'RE GOING TO CHANGE ALL THAT.
It is unclear what the Commander-in-Chief meant by his reference to "change."
Pillow Salesman Mike Lindell, posting on X, entered the controversy vowing to confiscate ballots and prove his theory that Venezuela hacked the election using paper contaminated with bamboo fibers.
So far, the Norwegian Nobel Committee has not responded to any of the accusations.